Car Fax

Car fax for men and woman

One question I ask all my dates is “If I had a chance to ask your last partner/wife about you would she say your worst quality is? I get a lot of varied responses. The worst response “That I beat her and raped her.” ☺️ Needless to say, I never did write about that date in my blog because he was in an ongoing court proceeding being convicted for those exact charges. Trust me, he had quite the story for the reason he did all these things. 😳🙄🤥

Too bad I didn’t have a chance to ask that wife about her ex before I wasted $20 on drinks, $14 for a meal and my precious time. True, it was just the first date…But isn’t it true that many of us do have the opportunity but we don’t take advantage of it?! (later once we get to know them better) Why are we too afraid to ask? Is it because we don’t wanna know the answer? Is it because were afraid of what we might find out and that it may be true? Are we so excited about finding love and don’t wanna let it go even though we know it could be harmful or dangerous for us in the future? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The truth is probably most of those, right?! Maybe the person just seems so kind and wonderful, posts all the right things on FAKEBOOK, but we’ve only known them for a short bit perhaps. Sometimes we think we know them well but it could take months for their true personality to come out. Have we lived with them? Have they been around your kids or friends.

I think that it could be very advantageous to talk to partner that was with him or her the longest. Could you imagine how much time, energy and heartache it would save us if we at least knew the FACTS. If they’ve had several partnerships and they keep going in and out of different ones don’t you think that might be something to look into? Of course you have to decide all of this yourself but I’m just giving you things to think about.

Before I married my first husband a woman came up to me at my work and said that she was good friends with my fiancé‘s ex-wife. She said there were some things that I should know before I make my decision and actually marry him. Of course I didn’t listen and blew it off as a disgruntled ex that probably sent her friend over to talk to me. As I stood there amazed that this woman audacity to even speaking to me she proceeded to tell me about all of his financial hardships and issues that ruined his first marriage. 😳

I never told him. I was so happy to be marrying the love of my life and there was no indications of financial problems. Within six months of our marriage the telephone company was calling me and letting me know that we were past due and that they were going to shut our phone off. We were always late on rent and getting three day notices when he said that he paid already. Our credit cards are always maxed and it seem like we always had a new one. After finally demanding to take over the finances things did get a little bit better until he got a PO Box and several other credit cards that I didn’t know about. The last straw was one day when I saw somebody coming and towing our car away. There was nothing I could do. I had tried to help him in every way possible. I had committed to this marriage and I was determined that it was going to work. I stayed for 13 years until I had no respect for him anymore and we were both in critical financial hardship… I had no more love for him. 😞

If I had only listened. Maybe he and I could have talked it out ahead..That one simple phone call or conversation could’ve saved me some time. When do you think I talked to her? Of course it was after our marriage was ruined and I divorced him. She and I both agreed that we had no idea where the money was going or what he was doing with it. It was very disheartening and sad because he was such a nice guy but it was hard to live under those conditions as a young couple.

Even though I wish there was a Carfax for men and women the closest thing we can get to it is a background check which I find most people do not do at all. This I feel like is the simplest thing that you can do and to learn a lot about a person right away. Many people only date for a few months and move their partner in. In some cases they have no clue who these people are. Any man that I am serious about before I ever introduce them to my children I usually do a background check on them. And that’s only been two people I’ve ever dated after my divorce and they were both sweethearts. But the most effective thing that’s absolutely free is to listen to someone trying to warn you or present you with evidence. Don’t be afraid to go into a relationship eyes wide open and remove your rose colored glasses. It might save you a lot of heartache. I appreciate my first ex husband and learned a lot from that relationship. We still talk today and he is one of the most loving men I know. 😊

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