Date #5: “I’m taking my junk with me”

(Forward: After 25 years of being married and now unwillingly divorced with two younger children in tow I find myself on the dating scene in 2018. After my first date that I aptly named T & A I decided to start blogging about my “adventures”, because dammit, you can’t make this S*** up. Feel free to follow me. ❤️)

Date 5

He seemed funny, witty and intelligent on the phone. Super cute in his pictures.☺️??

As he walked into the restaurant I recognized him right away and he recognized me and waved. He came right over to me and I stood up and gave them a hug and told him that I appreciated him meeting me. I always make sure to preface every date as a “meeting as friends only” type of thing. That way there’s no expectations and no hard feelings. ??

He was wearing a really cool outfit. He definitely was not my typical type but I threw that whole idea out the window along time ago when I met picnicman. ? And I’m happy I did. He had black skinny jeans on, a really nice cotton shirt that was black and buttoned clear to the top button. He had skinny pointy boots that were black. His hair was in dreadlocks but they were short. He had so much jewelry on that they probably wouldn’t even let him in the front doors of the airport. ? I would say that it had to total to a pound or more. All gold. He had bangles all the way up his arms, earrings in both ears and nose piercings on each nostril.. he was not originally born in the U.S. and spoke with a thick accent. (Yes, it was sexy) ?

He was ultra polite. We talked about several different things and the fact that I had two children and that didn’t seem to bother him. ?? We talked about our dating experiences and laughed so hard. I could just be myself with him. Cursing and all! I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard for a long time. We really had an awesome connection. We stayed for a long time.

He asked me to go for a walk which was awesome because I love evening summer walks. ❤️ We both talked a little about our history. He told me that he had dated a girl and that she lived long distance but he drove to see her every weekend. He told me about how he went on a trip with her to California in the car with some friends. She questioned him about why he always posts to Instagram and Facebook but never posted about her. They had been dating for months and she was curious. I guess I would’ve been too. He told her that she needs to quit being so insecure and that he did care for her. She tried to express her feelings and explain to him that it made her feel cared for but he dismissed her feelings and told her that it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t understand why she even brought it up. He was very disturbed about the questioning and when they got home he said he wanted to break up with her. He said that she was “too needy.”??‍♀️

He began to tell me the back-and-forth of the conversation that they had before the break up.

It went like this….

Him: You shouldn’t ask me to put you on social media because it makes you look needy. I don’t want to be with a needy woman.

Her: I’m not trying to be or act needy, but I’m just asking why there’s no pictures of me when we been dating for months.

Him: I can’t have this so we’re not gonna be able to see each other anymore.

Her: What you talking about? All I’m asking is why you didn’t post a picture of me. I can’t believe you’re acting like this. Can you give me a second chance?

Him: No. I don’t need anybody that needy in my life.

Her: Can we at least still have sex? FWB?

Him: No. We’re done and I’m taking my junk with me. ??‍♀️

I was silent. ? Why? Because I guess I’m needy too. ??‍♀️ And who says they are going to take their “junk” with them? ??‍♀️ After all those years of marriage not one time did I have a picture of me posted on Facebook. Not one time did he announce his love for me or that I was a great wife or mother. Not one time did he acknowledge our anniversary or my birthday. Not even the birth of our children. ? But he did Facebook! ??‍♀️ If I did want something acknowledged I posted for him or tagged him. All of this was compounded 10 times by how I was ignored at home.

After we walked back to the restaurant I told him that it was wonderful meeting him and that I really enjoyed our time and I hadn’t laughed so much for a long time. I knew it was never going to work. When I got home I wrote him and told him I enjoyed my time with him and he wrote me quickly back and said that he absolutely loved my laugh and couldn’t wait to hear it again when we met next time. I told him that I thought he was a wonderful guy but that I didn’t think it was gonna work between us. Obviously I needed more than he could give.

After years of living in a very loveless marriage I realized that that was one thing that I needed the most. Care, love and attention. I cannot do without it and I refuse to live like that anymore.
Subpar

He said he understood but tried to talk me into meeting with him again but I told him I couldn’t. I knew by what he said it was a dealbreaker so there was no need to move forward. I told him that we could still be friends if he wanted to meet up with me and talk anytime. He was gracious. Such a nice guy to be around….too bad he wasn’t the ONE. ☺️ But the ONE will come..❤️

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