Date #6: “Service Yourself.”

“Want to go for drinks?”

I say, “we don’t have to…could just meet.”

He says, “you don’t drink?”

Me, “yes, I drink.”

He says, “good!”

Next thing out of his mouth was…“then I’ll get a hotel room because I don’t want to drive home.” ? (He meant a room for himself….maybe.?)

I say, “we’re meeting at 3pm for a drink for less than two hours…I think you should be able to drive home.” ?

As I was driving there he kept texting me. “When are you going to be here?” “I said I’m going to be there when I told you and that’s exactly at such and such time.” He said “OK let me know when you get here.” I said, “I will but right now I’m driving so I can’t text.” About a mile away he texted me again. “Are you almost here?” ??‍♀️ I said, “yes, I’m almost parking.” He says, “what’s your car look like?” I responded….”it doesn’t matter because I’m walking into the restaurant to meet you anyway.”

As I pull around the corner of the restaurant there I noticed him standing on the corner. He is looking frantically back-and-forth and his eyes and my eyes lock but not really in a good way. It was just awkward…I felt like he was stalking me almost at this point. Why isn’t he in the restaurant waiting anyway? So I get out of my car and walk up the street which was the most awkward one minute I think I’ve ever endured…staring at him from far away….with me walking toward him with his eyes locked on me. ??‍♀️ I got to him and gave him a hug and he was all sweaty and smelled bad, but at least he looked like his pictures. ?

Very handsome man. ? Thick accent. He was in a old work shirt that was a T-shirt and blue jeans. I noticed that the bluejeans were rolled up about four times with dust inside the cuffs. The most awkward thing was that he had brown dress shoes on like those that you would wear with a business suit.

He had dark black short hair and beautiful dark skin that had streams of sweat rolling down his brow. He look like he just got done laying about 5 acres of fence. ?

He said that he was going to order a whiskey and said “I bet you’re going to order a glass of red wine.” I decided to switch it up since it was such a hot day so I told him I was going to order a Mexican Lager which is one of my favorites. He switched his order to a beer as well. The same one as me. ?

We found a quiet place to talk. The first thing he did was start talking about the hotel room and that he couldn’t get anything for under $50 a night so he was just going to drive back home. I told him that’s probably a good idea. We talked about work and the dating scene. He slipped his hands across the table to grasp mine. I reached out and patted him on top of the hand and pulled my hand back. ? Then he switched seats and asked me to come sit by him. I told him that I was good. I could see that his patience might’ve been wearing a little thin and at that point and he looked at his watch. I knew why he looking at his watch because he had another date after mine. ? How did I know? ??‍♀️ He accidentally goofed up and send me a text message while I was driving on the way there confirming a time and place to meet another girl. Wrong number ??

He asked me how long I’ve been divorced and how many relationships I’ve been in since my divorce and I told him only one. He wanted to know what ethnicity for some reason so I told him with a Latino man and that certainly peaked his interest because he was a Latino man as well. Then came the onslaught of questions. How long did you date him? Did you love him? Where was this Latino originally from? Did he have tattoos? What did he look like? Was he romantic?

Then he proceeded to tell me how romantic he was and how nice my body looked and how perfect it was. By this time I have to be perfectly honest…my eyes were starting to glaze over. ? I don’t know whether it was from his BO or just the nonsensical talk but either way I started thinking about how I was going to get out of this.

As I answered all of his questions he said to me, “it sounds like he was a very nice man and you’re probably still in love with him.” I said of course I would always love him to some degree just like I love my ex-husband because of some of the wonderful qualities that he had.

Then came the sex questions. Most girls would run but I just couldn’t wait to hear what he was going to ask. This is usually when most men like him take a nose dive. The longer you sit there and talk usually the worse it gets. He told me all about what a great sex partner he was and how he knew how to please a woman. ?

He asked me if I had sex with picnic man on the first night and I said of course not. Then he asked me about the second and third night and I said no. I told him that #picnicman was a gentleman and never tried touching me and how I actually had to hold his hand first. ☺️

Then he told me a story. ? The little ditty went something like this…. his best friend had sex with a girl the first night and he married her and they had been together 12 years.

Can you believe it?! What a wonderful story and convincing argument to get me in bed on the first date. That’s original! ? (insert here… I have a male friend that will actually teach anyone that is dating gentleman lessons) ??☺️

I’m glad I have a degree in psychology and three other degrees to see through this but I have to be honest that any woman with no degree and probably my 10-year-old could see right through him. I asked him again if he had read my bio, because on there clearly stated that I was looking for a long-term relationship. He said yes. He said that he really liked my bio because he kept running into women that just wanted to have sex with him. ??

After he kept questioning me about me and picnicman’s past relationship (if you missed it I’m sorry ?) I finally started to get really aggravated. ? First of all it was my baby daughter‘s birthday and it was the first time I’ve ever been away from her. ? So you could say I might’ve been on edge or slightly irritated but one thing I knew was that I couldn’t listen to the ramblings on of this man anymore. I’m very protective of #picnicman btw..he was wonderfully loving man.

Finally I cut him off and I said, “you know I just have to say it’s not all about the sex. ? Did you know that sometimes sex with yourself is even better than with a guy. We know where to touch, how to touch and what we like and we don’t have to teach anybody. Some men think they know everything about women but it’s not accurate.” (Yes, I’m going to go there….?? ) Like women that fake orgasms. Many men really believe that their woman is having orgasms but if you have ever watched Harry Met Sally you may have a wide awakening.

Mr. Stud muffin shut up pretty fast. He looked at his watch again and said that he was going to go to the bathroom. I had drank my beer ? already and he had just been sipping on his because he didn’t like it. ? As he went downstairs I was hoping that he would slip out the back door and go meet his next date and see if he could get lucky with her. ? He knew for sure by then he wasn’t going to get anywhere with me.

I sat there for about five minutes and he never came back. ? The waiter come to check on me and I said, “Can you do me a favor? Can you please go and see if the gentleman that I was with has left yet.” He walked over and returned and mentioned that he was gone. I was walked out on! ? First time! And I was beyond thrilled!

The waiter started to take the beer away that my date hadn’t drank. I told him, “No! Leave it. I’m not going to waste good beer. I just need a different glass.” I ordered a cup of soup and sat there and ate and drank the rest of his beer. ???

I text him and said, “before you meet the next girl you may want to take a shower.” ?

Moral of the story…Don’t ever do anything or have anyone talk you into anything that’s uncomfortable for you or against your values. Keep your boundaries. ❤️??

PS: From his bad behavior toward woman I’m guessing he may have had to “service himself” that night. ?

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