After analyzing the hell out of my past relationships a few years ago I realized I’m a horrible picker. Picker of men that is. ?
In all my partners I overlooked huge red flags. Extreme debt, no self care, extreme feelings of worthlessness, emotional and mental abuse, mismanagement of funds, lives with parents way longer than they should have, and horrible families to name a few.
The term for it is Rose Colored Glasses.
We over look major issues in these potential partners because we are blinded by the good or just wanted to be in a relationship so bad that we tend to ignore them. No matter what the reason is, it’s not good. Why? The issues always creeps up later.
Most people have to admit….their partner didn’t do this huge about face after hooking up or after marriage. Most generally they have always exhibited these undesirable traits. At least undesirable to you. ??♀️
After going on a few dates and meeting a few really nice men I started to get Rose Colored Glasses about the other issues with them that I couldn’t live with. So I decided to make a system that has all the qualities, characteristics and abilities I wanted in a partner. Let me explain what it looks like.
I list all these things out I need in my partner. Then I rate 1-10. 10 being the best. Then I chose the number that I will absolutely not be able to go under. That’s the highlighted number.
Kindness. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9️⃣ 10
Attraction. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8️⃣ 9 10
Loyalty. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ?
Quality of Job 1 2 3 4 5 6️⃣ 7 8 9 10
This is just a part of my list. It keep my focused and on tract. It’s a great exercise. Each person will have a completely different list of course. It’s all up to you. I just encourage you to think about your past relationships and be super introspective.
Another thought is this….Maybe if you work on yourself your numbers will change and for the partner looking back at you … their numbers may change as well. ❤️
Happy Hunting ??