It was the 3rd date. I thought I knew him well enough but I guess I didn’t. ?
The first day we that we met we had dinner. I had a wonderful time and he was so nice to talk to and could actually hold a conversation. After we finished eating I knew that my favorite band was playing down the road so I asked him if he wanted to go with me and listen as well and he agreed. ☺️
We had the most amazing time and I even introduced him to one of my friends that was there. My friend felt like he was a good match for me as well. As the night wained on and the conversation grew he revealed a few unbecoming thoughts to me.
He mentioned that his brother became trans but he refused to support him in that decision. After I questioned him a bit about that he made the excuse that it wasn’t because he was mad about him transitioning but because his brother treated him bad when he was young. He said that he didn’t want to talk to him for that reason. My gut didn’t feel right but I accepted that reason. ?
He drove down two hours to see me that day and so as we talked for the next few weeks I told him that I would go see him and stay overnight in a hotel so I could meet up with him. I made my plans and reservations and was super excited to get there. I needed a breather anyway. In the interim he got a puppy. It pooped in the kennel and he was super mad. I tried explaining to him that puppies need training and maybe it was too big of a kennel for a puppy. He didn’t accept that argument. He hosed the dog off outside and left him outside to dry in cold winter air. What had it for myself into?! ??♀️
It was great seeing him once I arrived. He was jovial and fun to be around and seemed to have a lot of fun in the moment which is what I need more in my life. We walked, talked, bar hopped and just had plain fun. BUT at the bar I asked him how he was doing as he had his eyes glued to the TV. He responded, “Why do you KEEP asking me that?!” I replied, “I’m just checking in with you..” He said he didn’t need “checked in on” and just to relax and be happy. But I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t having a good time. He was ignoring me and I didn’t like how he was talking to me! ?
After about 15 minutes he said he wanted to go bowling. I agreed. He was acting a lot more chipper and was basically trying to apologize but I could certainly see that he could have somewhat of a temper. Of course I ignored it like an idiot and put my rose-colored glasses on and went along for the ride. We had a great time at the bowling alley. Our chemistry was unbelievable. I haven’t had as much fun as I had that night in a long time……Until..
Until we started to come home. ?
I had warned him on the way there that I was a very nervous passenger and please make sure that he drove slow and also did not tailgate anyone. The best drivers cannot anticipate another drivers behavior. As we started back home he was only a couple feet from another vehicle. I was really scared and he wouldn’t let up. I mentioned that I was nervous and asked him if he needed to drive that close. He started screaming, “LISTEN BITCH! DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE! I WILL DRIVE HOWEVER THE FUCK I WANT! He started pounding on the steering wheel as hard as he could. Unfortunately, I realized we had a 20 minute drive back. Then I remembered my rule. NEVER get in a mans car that you don’t know that well. ?
As we drove down the road he probably yelled for another three minutes. I kept quiet. I didn’t want to provoke him anymore. He turned on the music full blast. He was driving on a small narrow road going about 70-80 miles an hour and swerving in and out of cars that we’re going slower than him. Sometimes 2 cars at a time. I just sat and thought about my action plan. What do I do now? ? There was only a few things in my control. My PHONE was in my control. I immediately blocked him on my phone and then deleted him. Now he cannot get ahold of me later. That was the 2nd rule I broke. I gave him my phone number. 3rd rule I broke was I Facebook friended him. But he’s was so nice!!!! Right?!? Not so much. I blocked him there too. ?
Finally, he had no real way of contacting me again! So what was my next plan? I had to bolt! Ditch this crazy! We were only a few minutes away from our destination by then and I looked at him and said calmly, “Do you want to go back to the local bar where we were just at and have a drink?” It was the busy one in the middle of town. He agreed to go. His whole demeanor changed and was calm again. As we drove down the main strip he tried to find a parking space in front and just happen to pause for one second in the street. There was no space to park, thank God. I had my coat and purse in my hands. I reached for the door handle and jumped out of the car slamming the door behind me. I made a beeline for the bar.
As I walked in the door I felt a sigh of relief. People. Safety. Safer. I parked myself in the very back chair of the bar facing the door. I spent the next 4 hours there just watching the people dancing while having a drink. Eventually, I left with a crowd and made my way down a side street to the hotel I was staying at. One more date, one more dud. I learned a lot. Mainly, stick to my rules that I preach and remember they have kept me safe thus far. ??