Sex in the Little City
“The Frenchman” Date #Part Deux
After several hours of phone conversation with the Frenchman a.k.a. the Middle Eastern man, I figured out that there was probably going to be some adjustments on my part if I wanted to continue down this road. ?
All of our texting and phone conversations were on the up and up. He was such a gentleman. No inappropriateness of any sort nor weird pictures sent to my phone. What a relief. ?
We figured out our future plan for our next date and it was going to be out to a movie. He wanted me to drive clear Clackamas for a movie. Most the time I don’t drive very far for a date because they’re usually not worth it to be truthfully honest but I thought he possibly could be so I went ahead and conceded. Plus he met me closer last time. ?
I arrived early and went to the cheesecake factory and sat at the bar and had a drink. ? I thought I might need one for this date. Plus, I just needed to loosen up and destress from the days events. He had already picked the movie. I didn’t look up what it was but he said that it was a action/suspense movie. We both agreed that we didn’t like scary movies so that was good.
He text me and said that he had arrived and that he was going to go get a Cinnabon. He’s addicted to sweets but also the gym. ???♀️ I told him that I was going to finish my drink and that I would see him by the movie area. He doesn’t drink so I knew he probably wouldn’t want to come and set in the bar with me.
As I met him by the movie theater he was just finishing his dessert. He got up to go pay for the movie and I told him that I could pay for my own. (He knew my rule of course already about me paying for my own.) I had talked in depth about some of my rules on the phone already. He said that I can wait there and that he had already bought the tickets online for both of us for the movie and that he was going to go get them. I watched him and noticed from the distance that he had mislead to me because he paid for them at the counter. I didn’t say a word but thought it was very sweet of him. He came back and got me and we went into the movie theater. There was only one other couple that were setting really far away from us. He asked me if I wanted anything and I told him no. As all the previews were almost done my throat started to itch and I told him that I was going to go get a water. He jumped up and said that he would get it for me and rushed down the stairs. ??❤️
He arrived back just in time for the movie. Part way into the movie I realized that this movie was about terrorism. ??? What do you know… I was sitting in the movies with a Muslim man watching a terrorist movie about a Muslim terrorist. You could say that I was definitely uncomfortable with the content but it was one of the best movies that I ever watched. I wasn’t uncomfortable because I was with him or because I have certain thoughts one way or another about his religion but the situation was just awkward. I was on the edge of my seat most of the time because the movie was so good. During the middle of the movie I reached over and held his hand. He wrapped his fingers around my hand. He was so sweet and our touch was so gentle toward one another. In the end he asked me what I thought about it and I said it was really good and he thought so too.
During the movie he never showed much emotion to anything. No laughter, no sadness or any other feelings one way or another. It reminded me of someone I knew of that I was married to for a long time. ? Right then it dawned on me that even though we were so different and I didn’t have much in common with him I was eerily comfortable with him but yet triggered at the same time. ? Sometimes in abusive or neglectful relationship we can get comfortable with the way we’re being treated. The reason why is because it usually it starts slow and gets worse as things continue. It’s kind of like the experiment with the frogs in boiling water and how pretty soon the water starts to boil. The frog doesn’t even think about jumping out. ?
In all the conversations we had there was not one piece of an emotional element to getting to know one another. Great thing is that I have a chart in writing and in my brain that protects me from bad decisions aka (not so good for me men.) I came up with my own rating system and it forces me to take off the rose colored glasses. Sometimes we get trapped into falling back into our comfort zone whether it be good or bad. Now everything is so much clearer. Now I choose me. What’s best for me. ??❤️ Even though he has been one of the nicest men I’ve met I just knew it wouldn’t work because I know what I personally need in a relationship. For some ladies he might be the best catch ever.
With that information I decided that I would have a talk with him. As we walked around the outside of the mall I mentioned about emotions and him being emotionally unavailable. He said that he would work on it and try harder. I explained to him that I’ve already been down this road before and that it wasn’t easy to fix. Most of the time you either have it or you don’t. Sometimes, it’s the way you were raised. Sometimes, it’s cultural. Sometimes, it can be caused from past trauma. But one thing I knew is that after what I went through in the past I need to do everything possible to protect my heart. So needless to say, I wasn’t about to go down that path again. He was disappointed but understood. He was still sweet and kind of course.
After a few days he checked in on me to make sure I was doing OK. We started talking on an every day basis as friends. Mostly about traveling. He knew that I was scared to travel by myself but he’s a world traveler so I asked him if I could go with him sometimes. I could use a little getting out into the world. ?? We agreed that while he would be working for the day that I would go out and do touristy stuff. He said that he’s very worried about me so I would definitely have to check in with him during the day and also to make sure to stay close to the area that we would be staying in. I agreed to that and we struck a deal. He said that first we must travel within the US and then if I wasn’t too scared we can go abroad. Plus, we just want to make sure that we would be good travel companions. He gave me three options I’ve where we can go and he told me I can pick whichever one I wanted. Hawaii, San Diego or Victoria BC. It was a no brainer for me because ever since I was married I asked my husband to take me to Victoria and I never once got to go. ?
He agreed! Victoria BC it will be. It was a deal and now we would be travel partners. ?????♀️
(Disclaimer~The traveling bit was actually my idea. He asked because we talked about it so much. This date was over a month ago and we talk everyday and also hang out as friends. Yes, I would do a background check and meet his friends before I go anywhere with him. He provided me with all detailed info to do so if I decide to go with him anywhere. I’m very safe and would never do anything that put me in harms way.)